Khalabar Field Force II

I was going to write an After Action report about the Indian TSATF game I ran at an Historicon back in 2002, but I never got around to it then.

Luckily, one of the "other ranks" present at the battle, a Private Thomas Burton, wrote a letter to his fiance afterwards, and sent it down to Bombay by way of the HMS Dungbeetle. A copy of that letter appeared in the "London Illustrated News" a few short months later, and here it is, reporduced in full.

---

My Dearest Hortence,

We saw action today, against the Ghulzar, a wicked band of Afridi high in the mountains of Boruckistan. It was a noble mission, and we rightfully showed the heathen what we were made of! Good, proper-thinking, Christian manliness will overcome pagan badness any day in July. Or June, for that matter. Just like my dear old Nana used to tell me back in Putney.

Anyway, I'm sure you've heard of those Figg sisters? Well, one of them got herself kidnapped by Pinjar Khan. He's that wicked Musselman I was telling you of - the one who has the hidden fortress in the mountains and all. He caught Constance Figg while she were out on one of her missionary rides, distributing Bibles to the native villages. He kidnaps her and brings her back to his Mad Mullah. Old Mullah had something pretty dreadful, probably the worst thing this age, planned for her.

Well, our Major Bagabush was having none of this, so he promptly wires Cox-Roberts on the frontier, and tells him that he'll be up post-haste with a company of us Fusiliers. And what? And old Cox-Roberts had already got himself out on the trail, that's what! And with his Ghurkas and Scotsmen, no less. Lady Dumfries, the Major's missus, then heads out on her riding elephant to deliver the message herself. A right proper English Woman, Lady Dumfries is. And she remembered that Old Hubby had forgotten his flannel pad. He tends to catch a terrible cold on campaign if he don't have his flannel pad, they say, so she took it up with her.

Making double time up the Khutri river, we rode part of the way on the HMS Dungbeetle, and their officer of Marines, none other than Gunny Carstairs, came along with a couple of Gardner guns dismounted from the Dungbeetle. It were turning into a proper Hyde Park parade, what with artillery and everything. Pinjar Khan would regret the day that he ever took Constance Figg captive!

It turns out that Lord Cox-Roberts met up with Lord Baltimore, out on patrol with elements of the Khalabar Field Force - more Ghurkas and some of them fine Sikh fellows. We've got more of the Peerage here in Boruckistan than at a Sunday picnic at Balmoral! Anyway, along comes both of them Lords, so we had two strong columns coming in at the Vishtar valley, where the fortress of Pinjar Khan is hidden.

Major Bagabush recieved intelligence from a Mohmet Hajar, an old PM (our nickname for a Punjabi Musselman) retired from the Bengal Lancers, and always true to his salt, for 50 years now. Turns out that Constance Figg wasn't at the fortress of Pinjar Khan, but rather at the Mosque in the village of Vishtar. Some sepoys were sent with a message to Cox-Roberts and Baltimore, and the two columns converged on the Vishtar. The Denbigh Fusiliers, along with the RMLI under Gunny Carstairs came in from the northwest end of the valley, near the Khutri River, and the mixed column under Majors Cox-Roberts and Baltimore came in from the southeast end of the valley, over the rocky highlands, through goat paths and narrow passes.

That Mad Mullah fellow must have had a pretty neat tea party planned, cause all the clans and tribes for miles and miles around had been summoned to the village, and we had a terrible fight of it! Cox-Roberts and his lads, the Ghurkas and Highlanders got held up at a small fortified villa at the edge of the valley. It were a terrible firestorm, by all accounts, and old Cox-Roberts and Lady Dumfries were both wounded in the rifle exchange. Eventually the Highlanders convinced the tribesmen of the error of their ways, but it took near all afternoon to root the buggers out!

We Fusiliers had a better time of it, under the fire support of the Marines, we entered the Western side of the village, and worked our way around to the Mosque. It was then that the most exasperating thing happened! Our own Lt. Evans led the charge up into the Mosque - facing the Mad Mullah himself. Major Bagabush were bringing up the rest of the Company, but Lt. Evans got there first. He's engaged to be married to Constance Figg, so I figure he had a pretty good reason for wanting to get up there! Well, he pulls his sabre, and facing off the devilish Mad Mullah, he says "Unhand that woman, you lecherous villain!"

Well, it seems that while the old Mullah is a fearsome fellow, much given to his arcane and mystic ways (and it do seem like a good number of odd occurences happened that day, which can be explained in no other terms than "heathen sorcery"), and no doubt a scary boogeyman to children everywhere, he's no match for good Sheffield steel. Looking at Evans once, then twice, he shrieked out to Allah, and flung his body off the tall Mosque! At that point, the rest of the tribesmen disappeared back into the hills, Miss Figg were safe, and something about a supply of Russian rifles was discovered and secured.

Now, Pinjar Khan was never found amongst the dead or dying, nor was the body of Mad Mullah recovered, but all in all it was a good day.

Your Beloved Betrothed,
Pvt. Tommy Burton
Denbigh Fusiliers
Lahore, India

ps- in a happy note, it turns out that both Lord Cox-Roberts and Lady Dumfries survived the battle, albeit in a greviously wounded state. They were packed into Lady Dumfries' elephant, Petunia, and have begun the pilgrimage down out of the mountains to Khutri-Napur, where they will recieve proper medical attention. I hope all is well, but by the time you recieve this letter, I'm sure you'll have read of their safe arrival in the wires from Bombay.